6 Ways to Deal With a Disrespectful Employee

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Do you know how to deal with a coworker or, worse yet, an employee who is disrespectful to you? This would be an employee who feels they can:

  • yell
  • withhold needed information
  • make ‘snarky’ comments
  • refuse to acknowledge you

The workplace today is stress-filled, as workers are dealing with more tasks which are leading to longer hours. It’s also filled with very differing personalities, each with their own perceptions, expectations, and way of working. Putting some of these differing personalities together can be a recipe for disaster.

But does this give someone the right to intrude on others, either in their actions or words? If we entertain that the disrespectful employee is dealing with a personal problem, perhaps an ill family member or having financial difficulties,  it could lead to such behavior. After all, each of us deals with our stressors differently.

However, this does not justify such bad behavior. So how do you deal with an employee who exhibits one of the behaviors listed earlier? Here are some tips for doing so:

  • Document the behavior: remember the rule “if it wasn’t written, it didn’t happen,” so keep a record of the situations as they occur, including:  the day/date, time of day, place occurred, the issue involved, and who else was an observer. Look at the situation from an outsider’s perspective to ‘see’ the bigger picture; we won’t see it when we’re thinking off emotion.
  • Communication is the best route, but when you (as the boss) are calmer; have the employee come to your office to discuss the events as they occurred and to hear their side of the story, asking what led to their adverse behavior (not why), which can uncover the basis for it.
  • Set rules and boundaries: reiterating and reinforcing workplace expectations and policies for insubordination will put the worker on notice, so to speak, so it is mutually understood that there will be repercussions if the adverse behavior occurs again.  Give the employee clear expectations for how they will make improvements, but include them in this plan and, then, have them sign it.
  • Find out what the employee needs to improve in their work to see if you can provide them; for example, if the employee has an ill family member at home then can you allow a staggered shift which would allow help to take over; can the employee take a break if they are feeling at the breaking point. You may not be able to accommodate them but trying goes a long way to feeling cared about.
  • You can refer the employee to seek formal counseling, through the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) your organization contracts with; this can be either formally or informally, meaning that you can recommend them to go or make it mandatory. Both have differing workings as well as expected outcomes. The other option is to put them on formal Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), with formal steps that goes through your Human Resources (HR) department.
  • Be emotionally intelligent (EI)  – you don’t have to respond how the employee might be drawing you in to; you also need to check your own behavior and attitude towards that employee as you may be treating him or her differently or coming across defensive.

Dealing with workplace behaviors is never easy but it needs to be done; remembering that emotions come into play when adverse behaviors occur will go a long way to curbing them, but it also includes being empathetic and setting good boundaries. After all, other employees are being affected in some way, as well so stopping this type of behavior should never be tolerated, and it ends with you.

Happy Halloween!

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Wishing you a ‘Spooktacular’ day – Happy Halloween!!

Feeding Off of a Coworker’s Negative Attitude is the Kiss of Death for Yours

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A common complaint I hear is a coworker’s negative attitude, or their work habits, leads to not liking the job (or that coworker or the boss, who seems to continue allowing this to happen). Working with others is not always easy, as banal as that sounds; we all have our differing ideas and expectations – the differences -which get in the way to being satisfied in our work.

A negative coworkers’ words or behaviors can be the kiss of death for your career, which will show up as:  frustration that the coworker gets away performing poorly, which, eventually, creeps over to the boss/organization, for not addressing the issue; anxiety that you can’t control the situation; anger in taking on extra work that is not getting done ; apathy and disengagement, i.e. a ‘whatever’ attitude; thoughts of leaving or transferring out.

Negativity can be like a virus, which can spread rapidly. The more you hear negative comments, the more likely you are to start agreeing and then seeing your situations in a negative way; the more you keep thinking about them, the deeper the negativity lies. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

The fact is, it is up to you for how you choose to respond. You can’t control the coworker or your boss in how they handle the situation. Some things you can do that may help to stop negativity from affecting you:

  • model positive behaviors to your coworker
  • answer questions they may have, but ask question back to them so they can seek out their own solutions
  • redirect negative comments to something positive (doesn’t have to be work-related)
  • refer them to the boss for guidance
  • use empathy to try to see and understand their behaviors; often, anxiety could be the root-cause for their procrastination or disinterest and not because they don’t care, are lazy, etc.
  • establish boundaries to not over-help or take on more than is yours; this also includes not taking on their emotions, as well
  • focusing in on your own tasks, and the skills/expertise you possess, and using them to their highest to be more empowered and job-involved

Taking stock of your response to your feelings will lead to a deeper understanding of the situation and your reactions; only then will you be able to take appropriate actions to make corrections. The choice is yours, so do so wisely; your job satisfaction depends on it.

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! http://www.cyscoaching.com or barbara@cyscoaching.com

 

 

 

 

Are You Managing Your Career or is It Managing You?

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In this day and age of careers, a great question to ask yourself is: “Are you managing your career or is it managing you?” Often, it seems that most people today (in history?) scramble and find a job; after all, isn’t that what we’re told? Making money is the goal in order to make our way in the world, which entails work.

A question for you – were you ever taught in school of what a career entails and how to go about deciding what it is that you wanted to do for a good portion of your life? Personally, no. I don’t recall one teacher who had us research careers and then how to go about finding the path that would lead me to finding fulfilling work. Now I had made a decision on a path but, as life circumstances get in the way, the college I was going to attend had teachers who decided that they wanted more money and went on strike. This changed my whole path.

I found it was hit and miss in courses I took, not knowing what career I wanted to be in. So, from pushing by my mother and a desire to go away, I transferred to an out-of-state university and a new college path. Looking back, I only knew how exciting an advisor I had made this new major sound but, unfortunately for me, it never felt aligned with, even though I had successes in it. Until I started my own business.

My story is not uncommon; my office is near a major university so I get students who come in struggling with classes or feeling unhappy with their current state. Many chose their major due to a parental influence, or it sounded good (or friends who were going to pursue the same degree) but they now find themselves unfocused, having difficulty waking up to go to class and, sometimes, failing. I feel so sad for those who find themselves in this state who are about ready to graduate.

Sadder yet is that these stories are common among those already in the workplace, who find themselves in a job they don’t like or can’ figure out how to navigate to be successful. They often don’t like the work they do, finding it routine or boring; others want to move into a new role or up the ladder but feel there are no opportunities to do so; while another group can’t stand the people they work with or the overall culture of their department (or organization).

These examples are a big part of why our current engagement level continues to stay around 33% (Gallop, September 2017). People feel frustrated with their work, with their boss, with coworkers, with the time they have to spend in work, with not feeling they are paid enough, and not having enough time for themselves and their family. Essentially, they are allowing their career to manage them and their life.

Is it possible for one to manage their career? I emphatically say YES! There are many components that go into this but, once started, self-management becomes easier. Here are some components to consider:

  • Self-assessment/awareness: this entail fully owning your skills, abilities, aptitudes, values, beliefs, expectations, interests, to name a few. This helps you to know what you have to offer and your motivation to best manage how your career path goes
  • Awareness of your preferred work environment – not everyone aligns with how things are run in a business, no matter the size. Knowing the type of culture, i.e. the environment, values, and the way things are run, will lead to having more satisfaction.  Knowing yourself and how you act in situations is important to finding them; as an example, I thrive in busier and more active environments, where I can move around and interact with others so an organization that prohibits this type of movement will not work for me – this I know for sure
  • Goal setting is a critical component – where do you want to go in your career? Is it to be a CEO or VP, or other position? Perhaps it’s an industry you want to work in? Having that end-goal in front of you will lead you to investigate how you will go about getting there
  • Good actionable steps – these are the daily actions you will take as you work on the identified goals. This can include: working on a particular skill to get better at it, raising your hand to take on more challenging work so you get noticed for upward mobility, networking internally to get to know those who can move you up; it also can include ensuring your resume is up to date, looking for those internal opportunities, and working on your personal development.
  • Having a clear plan to follow – this means writing all of these steps down, so you can refer back to them frequently. I’ll tell you a story of a young, late twenty-something, gentleman who I was helping with his interviewing skills; he was going after a very high-level position with a retail giant. I was amazed at how far he was in his career at such a young age. He said that he started working for this company when he was 18 but knew that he wanted to move up every two years; he learned everything he could about the job he was doing in the first year, and then, in the second, he learned all he could about the position he was going for – he reached all his goals (and did get the position he was going for). He had a clear plan and followed  it.

Managing your career is not only empowering but your responsibility. Having control over your work-life will give you more control over you life overall; you will feel more empowered, more focused, and more motivated to go after what you say you want. I think identifying resources you may need is another part of the plan, i.e. a mentor, hiring a coach, as relying on others isn’t a bad thing in some situations. Don’t allow your career to manage you – take back control and get in charge of your career; you will be glad you did.

Committed to Your Success Coaching & Consulting focuses on workplace happiness and organizational success. If you need help gaining clarity on your business or career goals, why not get some help – stop the struggle and call today to get started! http://www.cyscoaching.com or barbara@cyscoaching.com

How Will the Eclipse Affect You?

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Today is the long-anticipated Solar Eclipse. Before today, I was just ho-hum about it but now that it’s here, I find myself feeling excited and with more energy. Can it be?


I’m sure I’m not alone in my feelings; we just have to look at the scores of people who have traveled to parts of the country where they will be in total darkness to see it. But I’m seeing people locally who are excited; ‘watch parties’ are being held on college campuses, libraries, and other locations to see this phenomenon. It’s crazy!

But, what effect will this have on you? Will there be? I don’t know but, just as when the full moon occurs or mercury retrograde, there may be some effect, such as energy fields, both positive and negative, or technology glitches. You might feel a bit ‘off’ in your work or daily routine. It’s important to pay attention to how you will feel during this time so it doesn’t adversely affect your mood or productivity.

I do see the eclipse having a very positive side in that it is bringing people together; it gives people something to talk about, which can relieve some of the negativity that has surrounded us lately.

Take time today to clear any negative energy; burn or purge any clutter – including mental; set your intentions for your future, along with clear, actionable goals to work on. Let this new energy take you to a new mindset and new direction. If anything, I feel more hopeful. Can you feel it?